He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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