in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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