Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
