the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
