I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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