DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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