You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
