yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
