your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
