your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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