a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
