I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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