people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
