What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
