I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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