Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Me too!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
