I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
