its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
