You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
