we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How naked do you want me to be?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
