im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The air was thick with penises
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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