There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
