i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just found puke in my bra..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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