im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
