sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm always down for nudity.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
