god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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