I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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