just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
