just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
