you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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