Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
