There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
