So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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