Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
sex in a hospital.. check
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
