do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
