so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
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She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
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My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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