Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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