I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
