brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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