it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
