3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
