Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
