I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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