you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
