oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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