Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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