love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
