I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
