I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
