the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
