he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
