So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
