The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
