im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
