im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
