their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
