..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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