I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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