I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
