So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize