Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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