How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
