I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I met the friendliest cop last night
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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