fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
