next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize